


La Sua Anoressia

by CrimsonCarnations



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Abuse, Alexander Rybak - Freeform, Anorexia, Body Dysphoria, Body Horror, Body Image, Coping, Cutting, England's Filthy Vocabulary, Fat Shaming, Into A Fantasy, M/M, Mental Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Mentions of ghosts, Prison, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Self-Medication, Vomiting, cursing, ghost - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-13
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:37:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8735143
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonCarnations/pseuds/CrimsonCarnations
Summary: Arthur is Feliciano's mentally abusive boyfriend and Feliciano feels terrible about how much he eats and what his body looks like.Edit: for people wondering why it moved when I didn't add anything I was just fixing some formatting.





	1. Chapter 1

Feliciano sighed and climbed out of the shower, heading into his bedroom and getting dressed. He knew Arthur never meant those things. But it hurt sometimes when he wasn’t thinking like that. Arthur was just that kind of person and it didn’t matter because Feliciano just loved him so much.

He went down into the kitchen and started to make dinner, knowing Arthur would be hungry when he got home. He wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t eaten in awhile. What was the point in eating? His stomach hurt more than anything but Arthur said he ate too much so he didn’t think he should be eating anymore.

It was another hour before Arthur got home. He went into the kitchen and grabbed a plate. “Hey, Feliciano! Where the hell are you? Are you fucking pigging out again?” He called out. He looked out in the living room then through the rest of the house. “Feliciano!”

The Italian was in the bathroom again. There was blood running down his side and he was practically sobbing. He was curled up, still holding the small blade in his hands. He felt terrible. Arthur had already told him he was weak. He knew it was true. He didn’t want to prove Arthur was right. But he knew it was true and there was no use pretending. He wiped his eyes and put the blade away, grabbing the small kit he had bought from the pharmacy. He pulled out the needle and thread and sat on the toilet.

He knew he wasn’t supposed to do this. It was meant for a professional. But if he went to the hospital Arthur would find out. “I’ll be right out, amore! I had to use the restroom!” he called, trying to hide the shaking in his voice. He was terrified. Maybe if he pulled more skin in he could make himself look a bit skinnier? Then Arthur wouldn’t seem all the worried about his weight and how much food he ate? Maybe he could survive something like that? If he gave himself more feminine curves? Would Arthur like him more? He could alway try.

The Italian pulled at the skin and looked at the needle. He started to make random stitches, trying to hold his skin shut and tighter around his bones. He whimpered quietly and trembled, starting to feel a bit sick. He finished with the stitches and stumbled towards the toilet, collapsing and vomiting into it. He trembled and pressed his hands into the ground. He wasn’t sure what to do. He didn’t know if he could walk but every organ in his body felt like it was being pushed together. He wasn’t even able to sew that much in it shouldn’t feel like this.

Arthur sighed and rolled his eyes. “Feliciano come on. You have been in there for too long. What’s going on? Are you...Are you puking? What did you fucking eat yourself out again? Get sick from too many carbs? Or maybe fucking diabetes you fat fuck”

Feliciano coughed and crawled towards the door. He grabbed his shirt and put it back on, standing up and looking in the mirror. The shirt was more baggy on him than before but not too much. He opened the door and trembled as he looked at Arthur, face violently pale.

Arthur’s eyes went wide as he looked at Feliciano and grabbed his cheeks. He looked over Feliciano’s face and down at the shirt he was wearing. “Something is wrong” He growled and grabbed the Italian’s wrists, looking over them. “What did you do? I can smell all the blood?” He looked at the Italian then down at his waist. He practically ripped Feliciano’s shirt off and looked at the Italian’s sides.

Feliciano didn’t give Arthur the time to look. He collapsed onto Arthur, passed out from blood loss, pain, and the modifications he had tried to do to himself. He leaned on Arthur for a moment before falling to the ground. The stitches that were holding his sides together broke and his side began to bleed once again.

Arthur gasped and backed away. He ripped out his cell phone and started to dial the hospital. He screamed at them that Feliciano was going to die and he didn’t know what to do and it was all his fault. That he was an asshole and he had known it all along and he never knew why Feliciano had stayed. But he was going to die now. And it was Arthur’s fault.

The hospital sent out an ambulance that rushed towards Arthur’s house. They took Feliciano away and brought Arthur along with him. The Italian was rolled into emergency care and Arthur was forced to wait. He was sobbing softly to himself. He hadn’t meant to cause Feliciano to be like this. He realized all the things he’d said while he was waiting here. He realized that he had constantly called Feliciano fat and stupid and this was all his fault and he knew it.

A nurse came into the waiting room and looked at Arthur. “I’m very sorry to tell you. We called his family already. But there was nothing we could do.” She sighed gently and looked at Arthur. “We found this, in his pocket” She held out a small piece of paper towards Arthur.

Arthur began to read the paper and he broke. He started to cry and cry, more than he had been before. “It’s all my fault”


	2. Chapter 2

_I’m sorry I was never good enough Arthur, I’m sorry I ate so much and I annoyed you. I wanted to get better. If you found this I was right. I knew it was too much to try at once. But my family would never let me get the surgery so I did it to myself. At least I can be pretty to you in death right?_   
_I’m Sorry,_   
_Feliciano Alessandro Vargas_

Lovino came crashing through the doors right as Arthur finished reading the note for what seemed like the hundredth time. He felt terrible. It was all his fault that Feliciano was gone. He killed him with his harsh words.

“You fucking bastard! I knew it! I knew you wouldn’t be good for him! It’s all your fault!” Lovino started screaming, tears flowing off of his cheeks. He had to be held back by Antonio, the spaniard pulling Lovino to his chest and hugging him tightly. “Feliciano loved you so much you bastard” The older brother cried into his lovers chest.

“I-I...I know…” Arthur wiped his eyes and stood up. “I will pay for the funeral. I won’t attend. I’m sure his whole family would prefer that” The Brit wiped his eyes again, unable to stop the intense flow of tears as he sniffled. He couldn’t even look at the two. He pulled out his wallet and took out what cash he had on him, which happened to be more than enough for a glorious funeral. He held it out and watched as Antonio took it. “I...I know I can never apologize enough for what I have done. But I am so sorry” He whispered before turning and leaving the hospital. He drove towards his house, passing the same jail as always and pulling over. He wanted to run in there and tell them he was a murderer and he deserved to be hung. Not that, that was an option anymore.

He would never have the courage to do it to himself though. He felt terrible but killing himself for what he had done would be selfish. He deserved to live on and suffer through the isolation and hatred Feliciano’s family would express to him.

Arthur got out of the car and went into the building. He opened the door and looked at the officers who turned to him. Tears were streaming down his cheeks and a few of them came over to ask what had happened. Arthur told them everything. He told them about what he said to Feliciano and what Feliciano had done. He told them over and over again. It was his fault and he deserved to be locked away for the kind of person he was.

One of the officers put a hand on his shoulder. “Arthur Kirkland, We’re glad you came to us about this. You’ll be detained and given a fair trial. But this is considered a criminal offense. I can’t guarantee you any freedoms”

Arthur nodded and wiped his eyes. “Okay. I plead guilty anyway is there a point in a trial?” He asked. “I know what I did. I did it. He’s gone and it’s my fault. I deserve to be here for the rest of my life” he whimpered softly. “Please just put me in prison. I feel terrible. I’m a murder” He sobbed softly.

The officer sighed. “I suppose if you are going to plead guilty we can skip the trial. It’s not actually murder so I doubt they’d let you out on insanity. Come on” he sighed and took Arthur back to a cell.

They called for Feliciano’s family, as Arthur had told them the car was Feliciano’s. Since they never married that meant it went to the family.

A few hours after they had received the call the family showed up. Lovino, Romulus, and Sebastian. Sebastian had been sobbing since he had found out and he hadn’t stopped even now. He and feliciano had such a tight bond and he was struggling so much to keep himself from falling into a spiral.

Romulus was the one to come inside. He took the keys from the officer and waited. He wanted to speak to him. It was obvious that Romulus was trying to be strong. But he was having a hard time. It became evident as Arthur was brought out just how upset he was but he calmed himself.

“I never intended to put you in prison. I’m honestly surprised you did it to yourself. Did you really not expect this from him? He was just a kid Arthur. You’re a shitty person. I knew it from the start. But he loved you so much. So I kept quiet. I never said anything. But I noticed. He was hurting himself and when I tried to stop him he told me you loved him and just wanted him to be healthy. But that isn’t true. You were hurting him and you didn’t even notice.” he stood up. “You’re a piece of shit. We want nothing to do with you. But I hope you have a good fucking life” He looked over the crying blond and shook his head. He didn’t say another word, just left.

Arthur was taken away back to his cell, crying all over again. He slid down to the dirty ground and cried into his hands. He didn’t want to have a good life. He knew what he did was wrong. He knew Feli was hurting himself. He never did anything. He loved him...didn’t he? God what was wrong with him.

Lovino drove, since Romulus finally broke and was too upset to focus on the road. He drove them home, hugging Romulus tightly and burying his face in his grandfather as he cried as well. Sebastian, who had still been crying, joined their hug and they all sunk to the ground, sobbing into each other.

It was Sebastian who got the feeling moments later that finally ceased his tears. He looked up at his family and wiped his eyes. “Nonno...will you turn on the radio” he whispered.

Romulus nodded and stood up. He turned on the radio slowly and listened.

“I will be with you every step. Tonight I found a friend in you and I’ll keep you close forever”

“Nonno...that was one of his favourite songs” Lovino looked up as he spoke. “Nonno it’s him” he whispered.

“Into a fantasy” Romulus nodded. “Your brother did love Alexander Rybak quite a bit,” he said softly, hugging the two of them again. “He’ll be here with us”

“Come fly with me into a fantasy, where you can be whoever you want to be, come fly with me”


End file.
